I’m undertaking a 1000-day reinvention project, focused on launching a writing and advisory business around personal finance for GenXers. I’m blogging here daily to track my progress. In Tuesday Book Club, I share an idea from a book.
If you want to make a clay sculpture of a human form, you might go about it by getting a mold, then pushing clay into that mold until it fills every curve and crevice. Another way is to build an armature—a sort of stick figure, usually made of wire. Using this method, you pack the clay around the armature, gradually fleshing it out into the right shape. Using a mold, you can make an endless number of almost identical sculptures. Using an armature, you’ll never make the exact same sculpture twice.
A social role is like a mold, designed to make many people into virtually identical copies. Each role requires specific tasks, characteristics, and ways of dressing and speaking. Every culture assigns roles, and the members of that culture try to fit into a few of them….
Once the mold breaks, the person shoved into it is at liberty to access their deepest sense of mission, the armature around which they can build a totally unique life. After that, the role rules are basically screwed. That person is never going to act exactly like anyone else, ever.
Martha Beck, Beyond Anxiety: Curiosity, Creativity, and Finding Your Life’s Purpose
I struggle between fitting a mold and living the way I want. Mostly I’ve done the latter, but I feel a lot of shame and regret over having done so. Maybe it’s time to put those feelings down and embrace my authentic self.