I’m undertaking a 1000-day reinvention project, blogging here daily to track my progress. In Sunday Planning, I plan for the week ahead.
In October of 2024, I wrote What is life asking of you? on my year-long reinvention project blog. I want to return to that idea today, the idea that I (and you) have a life task to do, that there are things that need to be done, not just because I (or you) want to do them but because Life is asking me (and you) to do something that matters.
So I’m asking myself: What does Life want of me right now?
I’m pretty sure that Life wants me to press forward with my essay-and-painting project. I feel directed to get three essays and paintings ready for sharing. Then I need to actually share them, in limited fashion, as a preview and to create some momentum for continuing.
I think Life is also asking me to plan better for the future, a future that I was ambivalent about until very recently. I was not suicidal but I also didn’t care whether my life continued or not (except to the extent I don’t want anyone I love to hurt if I were to depart). I showed up for my life anyway, writing blog posts, creating paintings and submitting them to shows, getting together with family and friends. But I did it all lackadaisically, and I started thinking a lot about my eventual passing on. I suppose I was suffering from a kind of walking depression.
I started coming out of it in June, when a bunch of big changes happened in my life. My mother moved out of my house into a senior living community. I got back on dating apps. The Star kept showing up in my Tarot readings, and I decided to prioritize authenticity and alignment over choosing an obviously lucrative business niche and grinding away at it. I fell in love.1
In addition to pursuing my creative projects, I feel the urge to plan and prepare for the future instead of hoping it doesn’t arrive. My tasks in that direction include updating my estate plan and documents, seeing a doctor for an annual exam, and possibly even doing some preventative screenings that I’ve been avoiding. I’m not really looking forward to any of this except that it highlights such a positive transformation in my life.
I’m looking forward to what’s in my future.
- I don’t think this could have happened if I weren’t already on my way out of the depression. Making yourself available for a relationship requires a certain optimism and energy that a depressed person doesn’t have. ↩︎